Indiana
by THE PETE PETERSON EXPERIENCE
Summary: Indy gets teleported into the year 2008 by an evil force. Will he last or lose his mind?
1. Chapter 1

THIS story is actually called Indiana jones DOT COM BUT the fanfuiction wont let me say . com'

Indania chapter 1 he can fly

A/N: this takes place after the 3rd movie but before the crystal skoal.

ndiana jones waz at a cave on a cliff. he climbed in.

"I wonder whant is in here. " Indyadn jones said.

he walked deeper and deepr into the tunnle. he saw a gold path. he walked in side. he saw a gold tube.

"this must be it." inday said. he left when he gone to the entrance to the tunnel. he saw a gay nazi flying towards him.

"shit." he said. he shoved the gold tube up his ass. he jumped out and hoped there was a pillow or something bellow him.

"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" he said as he fell. suddenly he was flying.

"what the fuck?" indjyu said. he then knew. he could fucking fly. he flew toward the nazi.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!" the nazi said. indy threw his hat into the engines. the hat flough out of the back of the plane. indy grabbed it. the plane exploded.

"hey why is my father in the groung?" indy said.

"June-ya? What the fuck are you up biatch?" Indie's dad says.

"DAD! I CAN FUCKING FLY!!" indy said.

he flew and picked him up.

"junior, you found it. you can fly."

"yes."

They held hands as they flew. indy sang.

"i was in a cave and there was a place where i found the tube now i can fly and never have i been so happy then flying with my pappy"

"i must tell you junor, i am most aroused." idie's dad said. THEN HE GOT an erection and creamed himself.

"EWWWWWWW!! GROSS!!" indy said.

they flew around the world for another hour.

"junier i must tell you somthing/.

"whant?!"

"i have been sent from the future to kill you."

"NOOOOOOOOO!!"

he smacked indy.

"WAHH!!" IDNI"ES DAD SCREAMED AS WAVES CAME OUT OF HIS MOUTH. the waves of power sent indy in to the futre!

he then teloported him into the future.

"bee bee bee." he said.

MEANWHILE IN THE FUTURE IN THE FUTURE IN THE FUTURE IN THE FUTURUE FURTUERE FUUTREU FUTRUE FUTRUE FUTRURE FUTURE

indy landed in an office.

"where the fuck am i." indy said? he saw a bunch of new york shiton the debsk.; an office worker came up to him.

"are u the new employee? the guys said.

"i dont even kwnow wheree the fuck am i? indy said as he grabbed the guy by the shirt.

"there;s not need to yell." the guy said.

"I WANT TO WHERE I AM!!" IDNIAIA JONES SAID.

"we are in new yourk city."

"new york city? no no nononononnononononononon!! what fucking building are we in?!" indy said.

indy and the guy looked out the window.

"oh...fucking...my...fucking...SHIT!!" indy said. he saw something coming to wards him.

it was...a plane!

he looked at the calender.

it said septembere 11 2001.

"this is the world trade center." the guy said again.

" the what?" indie said.

"this is the world trade center."


	2. Chapter 2

chapter 2.

"oh, shit."

"whant?" the guy said.

"there is a plane coming at us."

"not good." the guy said.

"what's your name." indy sais.

"rigsy." rigsy said.

"i gotta go." indy jumped into a fridge.

"ok"

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!

indy was blowed out of the building. he fell into a desert. he got out.

"when am i." he said as his dad shoed up. he was a floating head. it was a hologram.

"WWWWWWWWWAH!!" indys dad said as he teleported indy into the future. he was in the year 2008.

he woke up in a street.

"when am i." he picked up a newspaper. it said 2008.

"no..."

he walked down the street and saw new technology.

"WHAT THE FUCK!! WHAT THE FUCK!! NO NO NONONOMNONNONONONONONONONONONONOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" he cried because he missed the past. he walked into a museum. he saw stuff from when he was from.

"it's all gone, my history is now history. this fucking blows."

"you can get it back, indy." a voice from behind him said. he turned. it was a really cool kid.

"who are you." indy said.

"my name is andy. i studied history and i know who you are. i can help you. you need the power of the magic dome."

"of course." indy said. "it can time travel. where is it."

" it's controlled by the most despicable loser alive."

"you don't mean..." indy said.

"it is an ugly geekazoid name kaiser snot and his gay friends."

"no..."

"i know the key to beating them though."

"whanT??" indana jone said.

"the volcano." 


	3. Chapter 3

chapter 3

"what the fuck do we do with a volcano." indy said.

"we need to activate it. it will shoot fucking lava at the dome."

"ok"

they went to the volcano. andy pushed kaiser snot into the volacno. he was dead.

"we need the key."

"where the fuck is the key you little shit." indy said.

"how the fuck should i nkow?" andy said.

"well the only fucking reason I followed you was becuz I thought you understand the year 2008."

"let's look it up on the internet. there is something else i want to show you." they went to andy's house.

"wow andy, your house is the shit." indy said.

"fuck yeah. this is a computer. you can use it for stuff."

"??"Indiande jones said.

andy went to wikipedia.

"here is where the key is:" an dy said. it was being held by indys dad/

"shit." indy said.

"and here is something else i want to show you." he typed in indiana jones.

"what...the..." indy said.

"its you. you are a fishuous character in this world. you R a movie character. you are in movies. would you like to see a movie with you in it?' andy said. he clicked around the website. it was too much for indy to handle.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!" indy said as he ran away.

"indy!! come back!!"

dr. jones was fucking pissed. how could he take over the world if that fucking kid andy was fucking with his master plan to take over the world. but that kid was really cool. then he came up with a scrilliant(like brilliant but with scrilla) idia. he will run for president. he flew out.

john mckain was giving a sepech/

"what the fuck! we don't want to fuck up worse. FUCK!! we need a president who won't fuck this up. FUCK!!" mcan said. he was very mad.

prof jones showed up.

"who the fukc?" mckan said as he was pulled into jones mouth. he was eated.he gained his powers

"hahahhahah" he flew away

barak obama was giving a sepeech.

"we need change! no more motherfucking bullshit in the white house!!" dr jones shoed up.

"who the fuck are you" obnama said.

"jobens" dr jones said. he then killed obama and cut him into pieces he sucked up obama with his mouth. he gained all his poweres.

"now i am the only candidate. vote for me as overlord of the world./" he said.

andy got rid of the volcano and dome. now to find indy.

he looked around.

"WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!!WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!!WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!!WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!!WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!!WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!!WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!!" sudeently he was grapped. it was...dr. jones!! 


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: this is the best chapter i have wrote./O\  
chaptet 4

"what the fuck do you want you piece of shit." andy said.

"you to stop following me." dr. jonws said.

"fuck off, im looking for indy." andy said.

"Ahh!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!:" dr. jones said. he tried to attack andy. then somebody jumped behind anbdyh. it was short round.

"NOOO!!" dr jones said. the fight begins.

short round punched the shit out of dr. joebns, he shit himself./O\

"hahahhahahh" andy said.

"dr jones" andy said. dr. jones turned and short round did a karate kick./ dr. jones tried to punch andy, but andy was too fast. andy did a flip and smashed into dr. jones back. dr. jones tried to throw andy, but andy was too fast. short rund pounched dr. jones in the fucking back."OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" dr. jones said. andy and short round picked up dr. jones and threw him into the air. dr. jones tried to fly away. short round and andy climbed up the building and caught him. they threw him down. dr jones tried to punch andy and short round, but they got out of the way. dr. jones punched short round, because andy was faster. "heheheheheheheheheheheheheh." dr. joend. said. andy got mad. he kicked and punched dr. jones into the air. dr. jones tried to fly away, but andy went into a trampoline store and bought a tramploine. he jumped on it and flew after dr. jones. a plane went by and they landed on it. andy punched dr. jones inside the plane. andy jumped into the cockpit. "land the plane." he said. "why...andy." dr. jones was the pilot. he ate the pilot. andy was pissed/ "you absoped the pilot?!" andy said. "yes..I did. " dr. jones said. "FUCK...YOU...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" andy said as he jumped at dr. jones and flung him out of the plane. when he got to the ground. shourt rond punched dr. jones. dr. jones tried to grapp shor tround, but he was too fast. andy grabbed dr. jones from behind. he kicked dr. jones. short round punched idny. dr. jones tried to run away. "you fucking shit." dr. jones said as he went into a roller coster park. he got into a roller coaster and andy and shit ruond followed. the coaster went down and up and down. when it ened dr. jones climbed to the top. he grabbed a kid and held him over the edge. "i will fucking drop him to shit." dr. jones said. short round grabbed him and tackled him off of the side. they landed in a pool.

"he can't swim." dr. jones said.

"short ROUND NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" andy said. dr. jones flew away.

"I need indy. " he said as short round left.

he looked and looked.

"where are you?!" then he got an idea. he bought a ticket to indiana jones and the kingdom of the crystal skull. indy was inside crying.

"waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!" indy said.

"the movie hasn't started yet. " the commercial said.

"why!! SHIT WHY THE FUCK!!" BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH?" indy cried/

andy sat by indy.

"watch the movie. dr. jomes attacked me.

"no, that bitch. indny saidn

"he attacked short round."andy said

"that piece of shit." indyua said

they watched the movie.

"this sucks." indy said.

"yes." indiana jones agreed.

then at the end the movie changed. it showed indy taking a dump/

"errr...gah...ohh..." indie said in the movie as he took the biggest dump ever!

"WHAT THE FUCK!! WEHEN DID THEY FUCK DID THEY FILM THIS!?" indy that was not in the movei said.

dr. jones came out of the screen and attacked indy.

"haven't you heard. I have been elected overlord of the world." dr. jones said.

"ATTACK!!" dr. jjoens said. the studio attacked indy and adny.

"YOU piece of SHIT!!" indy said.

:then the door opened.

"Huh?" dr. jones said. 


	5. Chapter 5

a/n: thus is the chapter where dr. jones is defeated

andy and indy attacked dr. jones! but he saw them coming and punched them in the kidneys.

"why dont they call you kidneyana jones?" dr. jones attacked him.

andy had an idea. he beat up dr. jones.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" dr. jonessaid.

"indy!! he's too powerful!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!" andy said. he was blasted out of the building by powers known as the force.

"andy!! THE DOOR!!" indy said as the person in the door was revealed. it was...george lucas and steven spielberg!!

"it's true...u r real!!" george said.

"HAHHAHAHA!! now you can star in the movies, and we won't do the work.!!" steven spielberg said.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" indy said.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" dr. jones said. then indy turned to george and styevn. they both fell down dead. the shooter was ...

"andy?" andy said.

"no..it is mutt, form the fucking movie." dr. jones said.

"SHIT!!" jobens said. idny turned to him. mutt ran away. indy turned to dr. jones.

"checkmate." he said. he heard a gun cluck behind him. andy had turned on him!

"andy? why." in daina said.

"he said he'd send me back in time if I dint...you also called me a little shit and your ugly you old fucking shit" andy said evilly.

"you fucking pile of shit." indy said.

"and now to send you back in times." dr. jones said. andy tried to shoot dr. jones, but he sent him back in time. then indy tried to get dr. jones, but got sent back too.

indy woke up. he was in a desert. he saw all around... then a steam shovel attacked him. it was big and had a crane. it was very red.

"oh no." indy said. he wuz teirficied.

the steam shovel dug at the ground. iundy blocked it.

"not today." indy said as he kicked the steam shovels ass by flipping it over.

the steam shovle was beat.

"Yes, where is andy?" indy said.

"right here motherfucker." andy said. he bitch slapped indie. indy fell to the grownd. indy got up and wipped the blod from his face.

"your going to pay for that you fat motherfucker." indy said. indyi kneed andy in the stoimach. andy fell to the grownd. indy startted to punch him aghain and aghain. he was bleeding blood all over the fucking ground. indy then kicked him a lot of times. he took out his whip and wheeped him in the cock.

"OH!" andty said. his cock was gone.

"you don';t need it, you don't have balls." indy said, he then started to walk away.

"wait motherfucker...":endy said. indy turned areound.

"kweeehad!!" any said. he tried to rape indy but indy was too clever for that shit. he flipped andy over and put his face on a curb. he curb stopped him and his jaw fell off.

"you had it coming you fat little prick." indy said. he walked way.

""wait motherfucker...":endy said. indy turned areound.

"oh hwat now." indyanna said.

andy took his jaw off and showed indy...his lizard tong!!

"your a snake...oh my god NO!!" indy said. indy was afraid of snakes!

"ssssss!!"andy said he slivered into a snake and flew away. indy clutched his ears!

"AH!!" he screamed and passed out...in the middle of the desert!

a/n: fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff 


	6. Chapter 6

chapter 6 "indy, wake up!!!" marion said.

"where?" indy said

"yor in the dessert." marion said. "and"

"what?" indy asked.

"I saved you"

they walked

"where am I? indy said.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

dr. jones found andy.

"we need to talk.

"bout what sssssss." saod andy because he is a snake.

"we need to join forces." dr. jones said.

"yes and kill indyinana." andy said.

"I need your special power." dr/ jones said.

"andy was pissed." andy dint want dr. jones to use his [power!!!!!

"you keep your power, and we will take that bitch down/" dr. jones said.

"why?''andy said.

dr. joens beat the shit out of andy. he shoved his foot up andys ass.

"because, if you don't, I will send you back in time again.

"fuck you." and said.

dr. jones sent andy back in time. it workd.

dr. jones went into a building. inside was andy, but he was older.

"i know why you sent me back." andy said. he flung himself at dr. jones and tried to bite him.

"U snake!!!" dr. jones said.

"thank U." Andy said.

"we need to join forces."

"yes." andy said.

indy and marion walked through the forest. a gay car drove by and stopped. a bunch of people came out and grabbed indy and threw him in the car. then they threw him out. they all surrounded him.

"faggots. i hate faggots." indy said.

"yes, thatss what we are, and we're gonna kick your ass." a gay guy said.

indy fought them all. because they were gay, he beat them all up really easy.

"see you later, gay people." indy said as he and marion got into the car and drove to town.

then indy drove too fast into a tower of poop.

"shit." he said as shit flowed out of the shit tower and he crashes into the sewer tower. the sewage flow out.

"marion! swiM!!!" indy said as he swam. then a helocapta came and picked them up. indy was glad, but then he saw who was flying it!!!!

it was.................................HARRISON FORD ! LOL

"I found this helicopter." HARRISON FORD said.

" hey hey hey hey h-h0hey w-we l-look a-alike." indyane sais. he and HARRISON FORD were the same person.

"yes. OH SHIT!!" HARRISON FORD for said as he crashed into an island made of a solid piece of shit.

they got out of the fucking piece of shit copter.

"whana do now?'' said mar

"let's go find/" HARRISON FORD said as andy killed HARRISON FORD ./ he wuz a kid person again.

"I am HARRISON FORD and I am dead now." HARRISON FORD said.

"andy!!! why?" indy wuz suprized he wuz a humane agahhn.

"CUZ I AM A TRANSIMORPHIGARPP!!" andy said.

"that means you can take any shape you want?" indfy asked. he is very confused.

andy didn'y saiy. as a fact of a matter, he did not say a word.

UNTIL........he siad this:;

"indy, you piece of fucking dick, you don't shitting uunderstan, it makes me move throught ime withought olding!!!!! grow!!!" andy said/

"SHGITT!" dr jones said as he attacke d indy and HARRISON FORD 's dead coprse.

"alrite, we need to fuck them up." dr. jones said.

"indy, shoot them!!!" marion ford said. indy shot them.

Yes. it dont werk." idny said. this was not good for indy :/ but not too bad just a chance at things getting good agaIN. :)

"indy!! shoot down the ground!!!" indy said.

"YES," indy said as he shot the ground dr. jhones and the trans andy fell into the ocean of poop.

"we did IT!!" indyanna said as he gave marion a HI-Five-O!!!

"i hope your father Dr. jobens drowning in all of that poop." marion says.

"me too." indy said. they got in the hella copter which had landed safely and flew out to safetly. they landed in a city.

"where're are're we!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" indy said.

THE END 


	7. Chapter 7

chapter 7 lint

AN: FUCK YOU GUYZ LOLZ

indi was in tha town but he aint know whenre he is

"the fuck" marion didnt say, idny did.

"the fuck"idny didnt say, marion did.

then a fucking prince goed up to themselves.

"I am the prince of Fucktania." Prince fucklestein said.

"you destroyed our idol, the statue for the great shit." he said. "now, YOU MUST DIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111" (A/N: zedla vids on youtube are hilareous!!)

then a bunch of fucked up elefantsa shouwed up and kicked all their asses all over delaware.

"fucklestein, U R MYNE" indiana said. he climbed on a space shuttle, as did the prince. they flew into space. they starting punching the shit out of each out each other. indiana punched the princes funking balls off. THEN....

A HUGE FUCKING STAR DESTROYER SHOWED UP!!!! AND THE PILOTZ WERE GEOGE LUKAS, STEEVEN SPEELBERG, AND GERGE W BUSH!!!!!!!!!!!"

thean indi pulled down da star destroyer like startkiller in STAR WARS THER FGORCE INLEASHED!

but....this had no work on the bad guyz.

George Lucas wants to fight!

George Lucas sent out George Lucas

Enemy George Lucas used ICE BEAM!

CRITICAL DAMAGE!

Enemy GEORGE LUCAS USES WIND BURST

but this no has effect on Indiana Jonezx

Indiana Jones uses Tail Whip on George Lucas!

Enemy George Lucas has fainted.

"DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD" spoolberger sadi.

he chargeedd at indy, ready to rape.

Steven Spillberg wants to fight!

Steven Spoogeberg sent out Steven Spielberg!

Enemy seteven sepielberg used rape!

But it has no effect!

Indiana Jones used flail.

CIRITIRAL DAMAGE

YOU WEIN!!! INDU!!!!!!!!!!!

then indy woked up

he was being carried away by elephants on a saddle made of pure shit.

"PRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINCCCCCCCCCCCCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

PRINCE flew from heaven.

"you rang?" O(+) said.

"yess, I need U to kill this piece of faggot fuck shitfucker fuck prince of a fuck." indiana jones sed.

"lol, you suck" O(+) betyrayex INDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111

can indy defeat two princes? no

indy was defeated. but not killed, only raped. 


	8. Chapter 8

chpoater 8ight

"the big ONE"

a/n: i don't like rice goluhbrough

Iindi was in trouble. he had to fight not only prince fucklestein but also...PRINCE O(+)

Essentially, he was .

So he could do no thing at all what so stare at two faggots.

"lets rape him prince." prince said. they did not rape him like i said in the last chapter lol.

yes lets"

but then...MARION SAVED INDY BY FLEWING A PLANE MADE OUT OF CHAINSAWS INTO THE TWO FAGGOTS KILLING THEM! (a/n the prolplellers were also made out of chainswas)

'YA!" inday said. they were on the coast of gibralter

marion hugged indy. Then something VERY, VERY, BAD HAPPENED.

marion started disteingereate. all cuz of a beam spiltter used by...DOCTOR JOBEMS

"......o...o...ooo...o-o-o-o-o-o-o...huh huh fug-huh...huh...h...o...n...hi...NOO" indy said calmly. he started to turn very red/.

"you killed and her. and i loved her. I WILL NEVER FUCKING YOU!" iondy said.

"okay cut! gooood take indrey!" George said.

"WHAT" idyd cries.

"Don't you get it harrison it was a MOOOOOOVEEEEEE." Steven Speilburg said.

"But...Marion...dead..." indiana henry jones jr. said.

"no Indy, I'm an actress. your just a retard who thought you were watching a movie." karen allen said.

"What...fuck...but...I time traveld...steam shovel...fuck...this wasn't time travel...it just..." indy said

"2008?_" gorge said

"yes" indy hwisperd.

"HAHAHAHAHH YOU RETARD YOU THUNK YOU WERE ACTING BUT THEN YOU WEREN'T" the cast n crew said all together. At once. They were on a big boat called the TITANIC.

"So this was all game? All just...a movie?" Indy said.

"Nope. Indy I think I have some splainin to do at you." Jobens said.

"Dad?" Indy said.

"This is not a movie. I am actually Satan's general, Jobens. Which means I am a motha fuckin hell demon. I have hipnotized all these people into believing their acting, becasue this is all prat of my grand master fucking sceme plam."

Indy began to cry.

"So I'm from hell?" indy said with a scowling frowning frown.

"No. I am a human that satan picked to be his leader. I have the ability to time travel and shit. I have gone on my own way tho from the devil. I am going to rule the galazy except for mars. Fuck mars. I needed a bunch of actors and shit to take over this motherfucker. And you jobens junior, will join me know. Becuase I am your father." jobens said.

"No...NEVER!" Indy pulled out his whip and whipped it at the TITANIC. It exploded! And everyone on board died, especially Scott Phillipson, the chef (he was like Murry).

"I'll save you all! I just need..." indy said as a fuckety fucking awe-fuck-some thought crossed his mind. He still got dat golden tube! He pulled it out from under his hat, and shoved it up his ass. (even further this time) you can never understand how far he put it up his butthole

"With this, I'll have super powers!" indy said as he flew up. He shot a radiation bold at Jobens. It nearly killed him.

"June ya...all I have to ask is...why?" jobens said.

"It's because you a gay ass bitch." Indy said. He was about to shot another painfully blast of rad rad radiotion, but then jobens said something that startled Indy.

"I meant to say is...why do you always wear that hat?" johbs sead.

"It's because it's cool. And it's all I got for a family now." indy

Jobens said this"But...that hat...has a dark secret indy."

"Whant!" Indy said as his hat crashed down on him. He crashed into the ground hard. Painfully hard.

"I'm sorry Indy, I loved you." hat said. it used its powers to pull the tube out. It gave the tube to Jobesns.

"Thank you hat. Now this tube (which is pretty powerful) is mine. Now my powers are unlimited, and I can never lose." Jobens said. he and the hat got on a new boat, a smaller boat, and fled. 'why does this tube smell likme the in side my off sonz butthole?' doroctor jonezx says

"Fuck...yoU!" Indy yelled as he passed out.

He woke up in a government room. But he did not know that.

"Indy? wake up. You have a lot of work to do for the government. " Some bitch said. she was like moya from infamous 1 (which is a kick azz game).

"What kind of work."

"Jobens has fled into the ocean. We can't find him."

"You're the only one who can."

"What do you need me to do? : Indys said.

"you won't be completely alone." said...

"Qwizerd the wizard!" Indy said.!

Then something good happened.

preview of chapter 9!

JOBENS FOUND THE POWER! HE GOT SUPERIZED CUZ HE ATE THE GOLD TUBE!

"shit" Goerge said as jobens killed him with hjis lazer fission.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 indy becomes a rapper also title blood and bling

a/n; YOLO

jobens was in his secret island fortress in the o-shin. (it's like the ocean but with blood and bling

"i don't fucking understands why these bitches are against me. i was the fuckijng overlord of the world nowa i gotta deala with thisa shit?" dr. jones said as he lit a blunt.

"that dudes head was sweaty as fuck" indy's hat said as he passed the blunt to drx. zones.

a helicopter crashed into the side of the fortress

"Shit." jobens says. "you see that shit bro?"

the hat did a flip in surprise. Then the door to the secret island forrttuss opened. it was andy!

he was covered in poop!

"why" andy said.

"why are you such a fucking ass-pincher dr jones? why did you not save me when i fell in all that poop. GRAHHH!" andy screamed at dr jones.

"Shut up bitch!" dr jones said as he slapped andy across teh fucking face.

"andy your gay. Go away you cunt. we have no uses for you anymose". dr jones said. he was mad as a truck!

andy started to cry and ran away into the water. he turned into a whale and left because he was a transmorphigarp and could do that.

"He is fat!"

" i gotta go take a shit" indy's hat said.

"Ok, the only poop room is on land."

"k" hat said as he flew away to the shore.

he went into a bathroom. and sat on a toilet.

right before he could take a poop, he felt a hand grabt him and pull him in.

"AAAHHHH" indy's hat said. he fell in teh sewer.

indy had grabbed him!

"you motherfucky duck." indy said. he grabbed hat and started to punch him.

"ow indy stop! i'm sorry!" indy's hat said. he was scared.

indy started to stomp the fuck out of the hat.

"THATS YOUR BETRAYMENT OF ME YOU FUCKING SHIT HAT! THAT'S WHAT ITS FUCKING FOR!" indy screamed at the top of his lungs. he stuck the hat in the soower water and tried to drown him.

"Say your sorry you fucking cunt!"" indy said.

"im so sorry indy" indy's hat said. "i will go back to being a hat again"

"ok good" indy said. he spat on his hat and blew it dry from all the gross poop water. he put it back on.

INDY WAS COMPLETE. he climped out of the sewer and got into his car and drove off. he went through 10 red lights and hit a big car.

"WHAT THE FUCK MAN?" indy said as he stepped out. the car was smoking. al ot.

someone got out of the other car. indy could tell it was someone cool.

it was...lil wayne!

"yo man step the fuckoff you bitch ass ho ass midget." lil wayne said.

"who the heckin helckin hell are you?" indy said.

"i'm lil wanye. i'm the greateest rapper alive bitch." lil wayne said.

"cool!" indy said as he scratched his head hard.

"here have a jizz-oint" lil wayne said as he gave indy a blunt.

"what is this?" indy said. he ate it. he thought it was a sandwich.

"i dont know who the fuck you is, but you should be come a rapper." lil wayne said.

"i don't know what that EVEN FUCKING IS!" indy said.

"i'll teach you how to rap. you just gotta rhyme and shit."

"ok". indy said. they went to little wanye's stoodeo.

'wait i feel a rap coming on' indy said.

'go rap then' lil wayne said.

"woop...woop...woop..."indy said in a high pitched voice into the mike-row-phone

"Yeah i like it" lil wayne said. he smiled. he liked this kid indy. he turned on a beat so indy could rap to it.

"(Ugh, yo, yo)  
I get it crackin' like a bad back Bitch talkin' she the queen when she lookin' like a lab rat,  
I'm Angelina, You Jennifer,  
Come on, bitch. You see where Brad at Ace my wrists-is, then I piss on bitches,  
You can suck my diznik, if you take this jizz-is,  
You don't like them disses, give my ass some kisses Yeah they know what this is, givin' this the business Cause I pull up and I'm stuntin' but I ain't a stuntman Yes I'm rockin' Jordans but I ain't a jumpman B!tches play the back cause they know I'm the front man Put me on the dollar cause Im who they trusting Ayo SB, what the fucks good? We ship platinum, them bitches are shipping wood 'Em nappy headed hoes, but my kitchen good I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish a bitch woooooooooooooooooould.  
You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe You a stupid hoe, (yeah) you a, you a stupid hoe You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (stupid, stupid)  
You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (you stupid, stupid)  
You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (you stupid, stupid)  
(stupid, stupid)  
Look Bubbles, go back to your habitat,  
MJ gone and I aint having that,  
How you gon' be the stunt double to the nigga monkey,  
Top of that I'm in the Phantom looking hella chunky.  
Ace my wrist-is, then I piss on bitches,  
You can suck my diznik, if you take this jizz-is,  
You don't like them disses, give my ass some kisses Yeah they know what this is, givin' this the business Cause I pull up in that Porsche, but I ain't a Rossi Pretty bitches only can get in my posse Yes, my name is Roman, last name is Zolanski But no relation to Roman Polanski Hey yo, baby bop, f-ck you and your EP,  
Who's gassin' this hoe? BP?  
Hmm, thinks, 1,2,3, do the Nicki Minaj blink,  
Cause these hoes so busted,  
Hoes is so crusty, these bitches is my sons,  
And I don't want custody.  
Hoes so busted,  
Hoes is so crusty, these b!tches is my sons,  
And I don't want custody.  
You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe You a stupid hoe, (yeah) you a, you a stupid hoe You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (stupid, stupid)  
You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (you stupid, stupid)  
You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (you stupid, stupid)  
(stupid, stupid)  
If you cute then your crew can roll ,  
If you sexy eat my cooca raw,  
Put ya cape on, you a super hoe,  
2012, I'm at the superbowl.  
Stupid hoes is my enemy,  
Stupid hoes is so wack,  
Stupid hoes should've befriended me,  
Then she coulda probably came back. You're a stupid hoe,  
You're a stupid hoe,  
You're a stuuupid hoe,  
And I ain't hit that note, but fuck you, stupid hoe, f-uk you, stupid hoe I said fuck a stupid hoe fuck a stupid hoe (I am the Adventure Weezy)"

"OMG INDY. THAT WAS GOOD." lile wayne said.

"thanks". indy said with a big ass smile on his face.

"now you gotta prove it in a rap battle. that you can fuck wit the best in da game."

"ok cool." indy said.

they went to the rap battle place. there were a lot of gangsta people there.

andy was the judge for the competition.

"ANDY. YOU MOTHERFUCKER." indy said.

"indy, i'm sorry i betrayed you. i'm not really a transmorpifier. im the judge for the battle rap" andy said. "Because jobens betrayed me again his bitch azz and now I'm the judge for the battle rap

"ok i forgive your fat ass." indo hugged andy.

"injdy!" ? said.

Everyone looked. it was a...dr jobens! He flew in thru the ceiling on a black hat from hell.

"i will defeat you and become the best reapper in the game!" dr. jones said. he was dressed like a gansta. "I found this cool blak hat in hell. it's pretty baller"

"your on dad! i'll send your ill ass back to hell!" indy said. he was mad.

RAP RAP RARP! Welcome to the rap battle here is your host, ANDY!

"Wasup, ev'ry'b'd'y!' Andy says to big cheers.

"Now its time for the big time fight for today... INDY VERSUS DR JONES!" Andy announces.

"UP FIRST. DR. JONES!" andy said. the crowd booooed him.

dr. jones grabbed the mikerofone and started doing a breathing solo in it.

"foo...fooo...fooo" dr. jones said. he licked the microphone and blew hard on it.

"" he screamed into the microphone at the top of his lungs. it hurt everyones ears. the crowd started to cry.

"OOH! WHAT A HIT!" Andy, announces.

"Next up indy." andy said as indy took da mike. his beat started. it was a hip hop version of the indina jones theme song.

My name's Indiana and I'm fucking shit up You just a gay wad and you suck my nuts them bitches pay me money you just straight suckin dick they said I taste like honey and you just nothing but tricks

your magic is gay your beat is whack shia lebuff called, he wants his gay fucking motorcycle shit back

I got more bling than you have male servants the dollars roll in faster than millitants yo yo i'm friends with lil wayne my whip gonna bring the pain

yeah

what

you only live once you just a motherfucking dunce shit fuck you jobesn YOUNG MONEY CASH MONEY BITCH" indy rapped.

OH DAMN" andy said.

the crowd cheered. dr. jones turned his gangsta hat around and took the mike. it was his turn.

"NO TO DRUGS!  
NO TO DRUGS!  
SAY HO-OH HO OH SAY HO OH HO OH MY SONS ON DRUGS DRUGS ARE BAD MY SONGS ON DRUGS DRUGS ARE BAD Rip dibby zap, da zip dap du wap,  
This is what I call the Zip Zap Rap Hichichichy be back in a sec, Zippy zippa zappa gonna spend your whole cheque,  
Zip dip zap, a zip wit a wabbit, Zippy dipa wippa got a cocaine habit,  
Scooby dooby bip a zip bop blam,  
It started with a quarter now it is a gram,  
Zoom zoom with a scooby doo bop,  
Buy yourself into projects you're tryin to cop,  
Rip and a rap I wrote with a rhyme,  
I think you better call the cocaine hotline,  
Zip dippa wip, you call them on the phone,  
A zippa dippa wip but yo habit aint gone,  
It's been flip flop days and you haven't ate,  
I could see it in your face you were losin weight Rip rap rop smoking back to back,  
Zippa dip wip and you had a heart attack From playin baseball like Willie Mays,  
Had you in that hospital for thirty days,  
Flip flop flam but now you're back,  
A zippa dippa wip in your new Cadillac,  
Hah, chichicha, like choking on a bone,  
Zippa rippa rap you gotta leave them drugs alone, KIDS RAP!  
Don't be a fool,  
Stay in school!  
Don't get high and drive a car,  
You will not get very far Well bap boom bam you'll be up on a pole You got thirty people pushing but it still won't roll And it won't start either cause the engine is bent Next month you'll be crying bout the money you spent Kids against drugs now say it!  
Don't be a dope,  
Don't smoke that coke!  
We're talkin' bout cocaine,  
Its not good for your brain Zoom zoom boom a zip goes your brain,  
You know its only cause you've been smokin' cocaine Ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta talent, Everybody has it so use it gallant...ly Maybe you'll get over you will see,  
That what I'm saying is really real Like at the swap meet, A serious deal...that could change the course of your life It's a lifetime contract,  
Read it with caution,  
Check out the small print,  
You've got three options The first one is to get your money At the 'spense of someone else's grief And you know that all that means good buddy,  
Is that you're a thief Second option is a 9 to 5,  
And 5 to 1 or the 1 to 9,  
But if you read closely,  
You'll see you'll be there for a long time The third one is to go for it,  
And try to get the crop of the cream,  
When you get tired of drivin',  
You just hop in your limousine Ha, a roll on Don't be no fool,  
Drugs ain't cool!  
For me or you, You know that this is true A rip rap rollin' with the pretty girls,  
Zip da wip dippy with your fresh new curls,  
Gooby doop bam a zoom zip wap,  
Everybody to the beat let me hear a loud clap Zip zap zoom a bop to the beat,  
All the little frits put the boogie in your feet Kids against drugs let me hear you gettin' down,  
While the rhythm of the boogie bass rocks the ground PARTY OVER HERE!  
DON'T BE NO FOOL!  
STAY IN SCHOOL!  
DON'T BE A HYPE!  
DON'T SMOKE THAT PIPE!  
DON'T BE NO FOOL!  
STAY IN SCHOOL!  
YOU PEOPLE KNOW THE DEAL!  
COCAINE DOES MAKE YOU KEEL!  
Hard times, y'all are getting harder, Cash money is the only solution,  
You gotta get hip to the system trip, Become a soldier in the proper revolution,  
Do it now baby, cause when you drop the bomb, There won't be nowhere for you to run,  
Try to spend you last cash then you see a big flash and it's 5 4 3 2 1"

"THATS ENOUGH." indy screamed. he was so offended he tackled dr. jones and started to punch him. everyone screamed and ran away. the fight was scary. dr. jones wiggled out of indy's punches and put the mike in his mouth. he spat it out and it hit indy in the eye hard. "OWWIE" indy said. there was blood but he was ok. dr jones ran away.

"before i go indie, i gotta let you know that when i said I am actually Satan's general, Jobens. Which means I am a motha fuckin hell demon. I have hipnotized all these people into believing their acting, becasue this is all prat of my grand master fucking sceme plam i was kidding." dr. jones said.

"whant the fucking hell?" indy said.

"i am also not your father! HA. #YOLO BITCH" dr. jones said as he jumped in a helicopter and ran away.

indy started to cry. andy came back.

"it's ok indie...it's ok..." he hugged his best friend.

andy pulled out a fucking knife and stabbed indy in the back.

"this will make jobens love me again. jobens is my dad idny. but he's also yours. nah I was lying. but you be dead soon from the knife wound that was from me andy. Now I just need to take this bloody knife from your back and show it to my old friend jobens."

indy was crying from the pain. he looked into andy's eyes and saw they was like snake eyes but not really at all like snake eyes. lil wayne came up and was about to shoot andy.

"yo yolo doctor jones i mean indiana but fo realz this might kill me but I'll save you. this gun is a bomb."

lil wayne and indy hugged and then lil fucking wayne went to andy and exploded. his guts were everywhere. there was many smokes but not from the joint lil wayne was smoking.

"lil wayne why you die" indy said in a sad tongue voice man.

the smoke cleared and indy cheered because maybe andy was dead. but then he cried because lil wayne was dead and he couldn't get no more weed.

there was suddenly thousands of baby snakes on the ground flying away.

"shit andy is being reborninkarnated!"

the snakes all like combined into a dude and then that dude was andy. andy said "I can live through explosions."

"i'll fucking you kill I will first!" indy said as he threw his hat, which was now covered in razorblades (indy was gonna cut himself because he was so sad about lil wayne so he put the razor blades in his hat but now there not in his hat theyre on the sides of his hat and it was flying towards andy

"SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT" andy screamed but the hat missed, and fell back down upon the ground. his hat exploded.

"NO WHY HAT WHY?" Indiana Jones said as the hat was being held close to him as andy escaped through the ceiling into a hot air blimp with spinners.

the hat coughed. "Indy I'm sorry." then the hat died for good. indy cried tears onto the hat (of blood). then it was magic sadness tears that brought the hat back to life (like pokemon the first movie)

"indy you revived me."

"I love you hat more than anyone else in the world."

"i only betrayed you indy because I didn't know if you loved me back."

they kissed. indy put his hat on.

"we don't belong together though. you belong with the whip." indy said and the hat nodded.

"ok"

then the blimp andy was in dropped a parachute with a rocket on the bottom. indy was caught in the net on the rocket and was rocketed back up to the blump. andy now had indy captured.

"I will kill you for good in front of jobens, this next series of events will be the last fucking chapter."

indy his hat and his whip (which is a girl actually) screamed as the blimp went to jobens space mountain fortress. indy had no means of escape. 


	10. Chapter 10

indiana 10.

the tenth chapter of indiana jones dot com.

Tendiana Jones.

Indy was lucking sore out of fuck. he was flying with andy towards jobe's space mountain fortress which was shaped like jobens mooning earth while leaning over a space floating mountan heh. but he had his hat and that made him smile.

"andy why"

"why what"

"are you such a faggot"

"fuck you indy. after today jobens will finally love and respect me like he does you."

"hey kid, i don't know if you fucking noticed but that dude hates my guts. and fuck you too you little fat queer. go fuck yourself with a barbed wire pole. fuck you. fuck you!"

andy slapped hindy and flupped him around a bit.

"no more of that shit. we're both going to the same place so we might as well enjoy it."

the flight sucked ass because andy was weird. he tunred into a snake and back because fuck why not he said. he really said it.

they landed the ship in the main docking port which was joben's ass. jobens was wearing a black outfit with a really big collar like a sith. and he had a lightsaber.

"welcome junya. this is my fucking space palace. i see andy brought you."

"i need you to finally respect me as the person I am that you know."

"yeah whatever." jobens said as he used a box with a button on it to summon robots that looked like him in the face, but with chick's bodies to take indy and his hat and his whip to the prison. andy looked sad.

"june ya it is in this palace that I will fuck your shit up for good."

"I bet you woudn't be so tough if you didn't have that lightsaber." indy said.

"ahhh yes but I still have my hell powers. or did you fucking forget that when prince raped you."

"fuck what?"

"never mind. indy, what do you know of secrets?"

"i don't know what"

"they fuck you in the ass."

indy got throwed down.

"tonight when the moon eclipses, I will bring you to the main hall and you will understand the truth about why you're here."

indy sat around bored and jacked off a couple times before the robo jobo chicks came back and brought indniana jerones too the main base room place. there was a cool glossy black floor and lasers. andy was a snake and sat by jobens next to his throne. there was a big window behind them.

"indy. this is all destiny. your destiny."

"I'm getting sick of this shit." indy said and shot jobens. he bled, but then he pulled the bullet out of his chest and healed his self.

"shit. that hurt. but not really. anyways, look behind me. there's the earth and the eclipse is starting soon."

"the fuck should I care?"

"because everyone on that earth is gonna blow up." a big ass machine slid out, with a cut out part that looked like indiana jones if he fell through the snow in a looney tunes show but like metal.

"this is a laser that you're going to get into that's going to blow up the ath." he said in a boston accent suddenly.

"NO. I won't kill everyone I love. :'(" indy said with patriotic tears.

"too bad, this laser is powered by love, you, and the eclipse and i'm gonna force you into it."

"why?"

"i have been planning this since the day you were born. once I became jobens I needed to kill everyone because shit sucks and then you die. so I time traveled to the future to make this. this space mountain fortress is inside a time fluxation, which means we exist outside of time and space. it is the only way I could destroy the earth and still live. and then I come back to bring you here so you could pwer the lazer."

"but why"

"because"

"why didn't you make it for me jobens?" andy said. "I did everything you asked me to do, and you loved him more than me."

"fuck you andy you're a dumb snake transmorphigarp."

"is that all I am to you?"

"yes."

"why would jobens build it for you andy?" indy said, holding his hands out in confuzzlment.

"after all this time you still don't understand." andy said. "the pieces have been in front of you from the beginning."

"whahuh?"

jobens looked pissed.

"you'll break the curse. you'll stop being a transmorphigarp if you tell him."

"he needs to know jobens. the truth is right in front of him."

"what truth?"

"tell him after he destroys teh earth!" jobens said as he ordered the jobots to put him into the machine. "oh wait this'll kill him too, which is also what I've always wanted to dooO!"

the eclipse started. indy pulled out his whip and whipped the machine in the part he was supposed to go in but wasn't yet. it fell apart from his whip (and gun because he shot it too). the jobots all died too.

"NO!" Jobens said. "!"

he started crying all pissed off and shit. he held the parts of the robots and rubbed them on his body and licked them.

"now I can tell you the truth about you and I, indy."

"what the shit?" indy said.

"can't you tell yet? everything about us is so similar. indy. andy. it's amazing you found me. but it's destiny."

"what are you saying that you're me from the future or some bullshit." fuck that shit.

"no. I'm your...BROTHER!"

"WHAT!" Indy said as he started whipping andy. "tell me!"

"it's true june ya." jobens said. "I fucked a transmorphigarp from the future and this little fuckwad came out. I hid him in 2008, which is where I'm time traveling this space mountain fortress to go next."

"I can't believe it. NO. But it all makes sense now..." indy said.

"but jobens always loved you more because I'm a fatass snake and you're indiana fucking jones."

"but fuck andy...don't you know that a father's love doesn't mean everything?"

"we must fight now." jobens said and attacked indy. he punched him in the face a lot. andy just stood there. jobens whipped out his lightsaber which was pink but indy whipped it out of his hands and it exploded into sparkles.

"i guess I'll have to use my ABILITIES." jobens said and used lightning on indy. indy fell down and started crying up against the rail thing. he looked down and saw it went very far!

"andy...you have to help me."

andy watched as indy got fried more and more. he felt really bad.

"no. no! NOOO!" he said as he picked up jobens and was about to through him over the ledge.

"are you really gonna?" indy said. "this will all be over."

"andy..." andy said.

"if you don't kill me I'll love you" jobens said.

"andy he's a fucking dickhead. don't listen to him." indy said.

"what will you do?"

"I..."

"don't fucking drump me! DON'T!"

"What will you do andy?" indy said.

"I..."

"what will you do, son?" jobens said.

"I..."

andy squeezed on the parts of jobens he was holding.

"I'd rather have your love then kill you." andy said as he threw jobens at indy.

"YAY!" jobens said.

"NO ANDY WHY?"

"because fuck you doctor jones. that's fucking why."

andy and jobens walked slowly and badassly towards indy. indy said goodbye to his hat and whip and thanked them for helping him.

But then an alien saucer crashed into the main room! And out of it came...MAC!

"JONESY!" mac said. the alien from crystal skull was behind him.

"you're that guy from the movie!" indy said.

"yep and the aliens were like dimensional travelers and shit. so now I know everything. and I'll save you now."

jobens screamed when he saw the alien. andy turned into a snake and attacked the alien. it died and instantly turned into the crustal skull again.

"shit that fucks up my plans pretty well." mac said.

dr. jones pushed buttons on the control.

"now I'm gonna crash this fucking thing into the earth and destroy it."

"you'll kill us?" idny siad.

"fuck no. not me or my good son, at least. it might kill you if you don't escape."

he did a little jig.

"you've ruined part of my plans, but I still have many more. this is only one. I still have plan b and c and others. so don't think I'm done yet."

jobens used his quick travel to get him and andy into the compartment and blasted back to earth. there was no more escape chambers.

"oh no what am I gonna do."

"I'll stay with the ship and steer it away from fucking up the earth." mac said.

"but you die"

"yeah but who cares."

"yeah hahah. you suck. but what will I dooo?"

"do what you always do." mac said, and pointed at a refridgerator. indy hugged mac and did cartwheels into the refridgerator. the ship exploded as it destroyed the moon, but indy safely landed in new mexico on earht.

"shit I'm alive. but where am I, what day and time is it, and where is jobens and andy?" indy said.

he didn't know the answer, but fuck he had to find out soon, or the earht was doomed forever. 


End file.
